Good evangelical Protestants are supposed to ‘tithe’ i.e. give (at least) ten per cent of their incomes to ‘God’. But what does this mean in practice?

According to recent surveys (Ellison Research, reported in Australian Prayer Network International News, 10 Jul. 2006), a majority of American Protestant pastors say that the tithe should go to ‘the local church’ (i.e. to the pastors). But only about one-third of their congregations agree with them. Indeed most congregants believe that a Christian’s tithe need not even be limited to religious groups or causes.

And only a minority of those churchgoers who believe that they should give their tithes to the local church actually do so.

And then, of course, there’s the question of whether the ten per cent tithe should be calculated on pre-tax (gross) or post-tax (net) income. Churchgoers are split about 50-50 on this one, but not unexpectedly the clergy plump heavily for the pre-tax option. One pastor (hopefully?) pointed out that, ‘When we calculate our tithes based on net income, we put the government ahead of God’.

Isn’t Christian unity a wonderful thing?

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Christian Right groups always attract their fair share of health cranks. The North Queensland Pain Help Centre, based in Mareeba, recently had this published in the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter (3 Jul. 2006):

… One issue you raised is the addiction to coffee, mine is still high! However, there is an upside to coffee, pardon the pun, we are putting it in the wrong end!!!!!!!!!!

A Dr Gerson at the turn of the century used coffee enemas to treat pain and cancer very effectively. Its ability to detox the body is amazing – http://www.gerson.org/

Oh boy, so coffee enemas are an effective treatment for cancer. You learn something every day. But you’ll learn more if you go here – http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.html – or here – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerson_therapy.

As for the North Queensland Pain Help Centre, I suggest that it can take its own advice, pretend it’s a cup of coffee and … oops, remember you’re a lady, Angie.

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The very last weekly issue of the Australian evangelical publication New Life (29 Jun. 2006) reports that the worldwide distribution of the Bible is trending steeply downwards. I’m sure the expansion of the Internet would have something to do with this, but it contradicts just about every piece of Christian propaganda that I’ve seen. The Bible is always described as ‘the all-time bestseller’ with scads of the things being sold, given away or smuggled into the lands of the heathen. No longer!

United Bible Societies said 372.6 million Bibles, New Testaments, Scripture portions and selections were distributed by Bible Societies in 2005, down 4.6% from 2004. Since 2000 the distribution of printed Scriptures has dwindled steadily by 41.2%.

New Life dropping back to a fortnightly and Bible distribution in free fall. Do I hear Gabriel practising his horn solos?

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Just before lunch [last Thursday], the Leader of the House, Tony Abbott, sought to axe debate on former deputy prime minister John Anderson’s [Australian Wheat Board] share dealings. ‘I move that the snivelling grub over there be not further heard’, he said, referring to … Labor public accountability spokesman Kelvin Thompson. Cue uproar. Pressed to retract the insult …, Abbott ventured an apology worthy of an unrepentant toddler. ‘If I have offended grubs, I withdraw’, he said. (Misha Schubert ‘Can grubs snivel?’, Melbourne Age, 26 May 2006)

Now, how much castigation do you think Abbott will receive from the Religious Right over this tawdry little episode? After all, backbiters won’t be entering the kingdom of heaven. And what was Jesus supposed to have said about loving your neighbour? And turning the other cheek?

But I was forgetting. Tony is anti-abortion, which means that he is a walking saint, which means that he can do no wrong, which means that we can forget all about scathing editorials by Salt Shakers, New Life or anyone else in the club. Now if a nasty, godless Labor, Democrat or Green politician had said what dear Tony said, that would change everything.

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Most Christians in the US don’t believe they will experience a resurrection of their bodies when they die … 36% said ‘yes’ to the question, ‘Do you believe that, after you die, your physical body will be resurrected some day?’ Another 54% said they do not believe, and 10% were undecided. ‘This reflects the very low state of doctrinal preaching in our churches’, said Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary … The findings surprised many top theologians since it seems to put Americans in conflict with both the Nicene Creed and the Apostles’ Creed … (New Life, 18 May 2006)

How is God supposed to get all the dispersed molecules back together again? And what about the atoms that have become other living tissue e.g. part of someone else’s brain? Of course, if it was Al Mohler’s brain he probably wouldn’t notice if a bit of it suddenly flew out to become part of a resurrectee’s armpit, but I don’t think I’d like it.

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First prize of a kick in the crutch from Tony Abbott and 10,000 years in purgatory goes to Arnold Thomas of Boronia, Victoria:

To those who are upset by ‘The Da Vinci Code’, please, remember this. It is a novel, it is fiction, it is a made-up story – you know, a bit like your religion. (Age, 22 May 2006)

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‘I think Jesus is the most famous person in history’, wrote Rachel Woodlock in an Easter reflection piece. (‘Faith’, Sunday Age, 30 Apr. 2006)

‘Ho hum’, I thought, and apparently so did just about every fundamentalist in Melbourne. But unlike them I read on:

Even as a non-Christian, I have a satisfying familiarity with the traditional Jesus story … But the Jesus I have come to know and love as a Muslim is quite a different fellow from the one with long blond hair and flowing white robes, whom I knew as a child.

Rachel proceeds to outline the standard Muslim view of Jesus’ ultimate fate:

… [A]ccording to the Koran, Jesus did not die on the Cross. Only the appearance of his crucifixion occurred, sparing Jesus the ignominy of this cruel Roman punishment … For Christians, Jesus’ death on the Cross demonstrates his ultimate love for humanity. I, too, believe in a sacrifice – not his death but his life … So at Easter time, I paused and celebrated the life of Jesus.

Conservative Christians seem to be so busy fighting lost causes like RU486 that they can’t spare the time to respond to a well-written piece that strikes at the heart of their basic beliefs. Or maybe they’re all still recovering in hospital.

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(1) Anglicans

More than 100 leading Australian Anglicans have accused the previous Archbishop of Canterbury of disloyalty, as divisions over homosexuality in the worldwide Anglican church deepen. The Anglicans have written to Dr George Carey, the previous spiritual head of the church, accusing him of undermining his successor, Archbishop Rowan Williams, and offering himself as an alternative leader. Dr Carey recently confirmed 300 American evangelicals who do not accept their own bishops because they supported the election of an openly gay priest as Bishop of New Hampshire. The letter is signed by 120 Anglicans, including four Australian bishops … (Barney Zwartz ‘Anglicans furious at former archbishop’, Melbourne Age, 27 Apr. 2006)

(more…)

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A massive earthquake on Boxing Day generated tsunamis which killed thousands throughout Asia, while millions lost their homes. Let’s hope that those affected can re-group, with help from the rest of the world.

Natural disasters like this must create a dilemma for those who believe in a benevolent God. Pastors will wring their hands and say “we cannot explain God’s will”. Thousands of believers of all faiths will pray to their God for help, but thence comes the dilemma. If a supernatural God can answer prayer and therefore control worldly events, why does He allow such disasters to occur? Surely these events cannot be divine retribution for unspecified sins, as some victims have said in the past few days? These are questions as old as belief itself, questions that religious leaders are no closer to adequately answering.

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