Barnaby Joyce, National Party Senator-elect, Pro-Life News, ‘Spring edition’ (Dec.), 2004, 1:

The number one issue in this country is abortion, front and centre, because if you kill your children then you will have little hope of looking after your visitors, reconciling with indigenous members in the community or delivering on any other relevant issue.

[Strong contender for non sequitur of the year.]

Bill Muehlenberg, National Vice-President of the Australian Family Association, News Weekly, 18 Dec. 2004, 20:

The safe-sex myth (just use a condom etc.) is not only physically harmful - as most contraceptives are far from foolproof - but the risks of a broken promise, a broken relationship, and a broken heart cannot be protected by the condom culture.

[So chastity protects us from broken hearts? Another entry for the non sequitur award.]

Jay Nauss, Stanthorpe, Qld., letter to the editor of the pro-Christian Democratic Party magazine Good Report (Dec-Jan 2004, 6-7):

On the back page of [your] magazine appears a statement of principles. I wonder why you only advocate that religious bodies be exempt from discrimination in employment [legislation]. Don’t you think ALL people should be allowed to discriminate in employment, housing etc? Shouldn’t those who engage in abortion be subject to the death penalty?
I could go on, but the reason your party wasn’t successful on 9 Oct. [Federal election] is because you only want to deal in half measures and not full Bible truth …

John Gagliardi, Founder of the Australian Christian Coalition (now Australian Christian Lobby), foreword to Colin Campbell Where Are the Real Men of God? Exposing the Wimpy Spirit! (2004), 1:

[Today's cultural crisis] all comes down to God’s fundamental building-block of society, …the family. The family, as a God-given institution, is under attack as never before in the history of mankind, as the abortionists try to kill the children before they even have a chance to live, and the radical homosexual lobby tries to kill traditional marriage, aided and abetted by leftist elements within governments, the judiciary and the media …
We have, to a large extent, let it all happen! How? Colin’s contention … is that men, ordained by God to be the leaders of their families, to be the father figures representing God’s authority, have simply ‘wimped out’. Men have gone soft … The SNAG ['Sensitive New Age Guy'] has become a sort of lavender-hued Frankenstein’s Monster, with the whole concept of gender bent totally out of shape. We have transgenders, transsexuals, bisexuals, gays, transvestites and, believe it or not, ‘intersex people’ (formerly known as hermaphrodites). BUT WHERE ARE THE MEN?

Colin Campbell (husband of Nancy Campbell, editor of the anti-feminist Above Rubies magazine), Where Are the Real Men of God? (2004), 63-64:

It stirs me greatly when I see leftist, clerical, white-collared church leaders espousing humanistic ideology … There are no boundaries to their compromises …

The Bible distinguishes between the left and the right. Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV says, ‘The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left.’ Matthew 25:32-46, ‘All nations will be gathered before him … And he will set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right hand, “Come, you blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom …” Then he will also say to those on the left hand, “Depart from me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels” …’

[Is there some sort of 'gross misapplication of Scripture' competition in which this could be entered?]

Colin Campbell, ibid., 110:

It is wimpy to be undisciplined in sexual appetites …

Sexual impurities are high on the list of those who will suffer the wrath of God … The same judgement is on those who ‘have pleasure in them that do them’ … I believe that watching fornication and adultery on movies or TV is condoning and approving those who do them. To derive pleasure from reading a book that describes sexual misconducts is sinful and could bring the same judgment as those who actually commit the sin …
There is far too much pathetic wimpiness in the sexual life of many so-called Christians. There is absolutely no excuse for a born-again Christian to take licence to watch R-rated adult movies or in any way be involved in kinky Hollywood-type sexual activity.

Michelle French ‘The origins of language: an investigation of various theories’, Answers in Genesis
Technical Journal, Vol.18 No.3 (Dec. 2004), 27:

There is only one theory on the origin of human languages that has no overwhelming objections to it, though ever since its beginning it has been under close examination. This theory is creation. Believing language was created and given to man by an all-powerful, all-knowing God removes all the barriers that would prevent language from existing.
In the creation account presented in the Bible, language existed even before God started creating. In fact, God used language to communicate with Himself in intra-Trinitarian communication.

[Hang on. Why would an 'all-knowing' God need to communicate with himself? Do some parts of him know things that other parts don't?]

Anne Lastman, Founder, Victims of Abortion, ‘Our Lady, Fatima and the “annihilation of nations”‘, National Civic Council’s AD2000, Oct. 2004, 20:

… While there is always the future possibility of the annihilation of whole nations through war, nuclear or otherwise, or natural disaster, there has been an ‘annihilation of nations’ every year for the past forty years …
Where human mothers take their children to be aborted (in the proportions of whole national populations annually) the heavenly visitor, Queen and Mother, comes and gathers the unwanted children and gives birth to them in Her heavenly realm … This annihilation has been occurring … since the Roe v Wade [decision] (1973, United States) and Menhennitt Ruling (Australia) which declared infants in the womb to be not human.

Brent Hardaway and Jonathan Sarfati ‘Countering Christophobia’, Answers in Genesis Technical Journal, Vol.18 No.3, (Dec. 2004), 30:

… It may fairly be said that those who try to portray Christian history as one long period of tyranny and superstition have not the first clue what they are talking about. This is especially important to keep in mind when reading not only the gutter atheist websites in cyberspace, but also the ravings of liberals within the church, such as John Shelby Spong.

[Gee guys, we're trying desperately to take that as a compliment!]

Jonathan Sarfati, Answers in Genesis spokesperson (New Life, 2 Dec. 2004):

Dr Brian Edgar complains that Christians should be ashamed of the low level of foreign aid and that we shouldn’t try to impose Christian morality. Rather, Christians should be ashamed if they follow such leftist nonsense and ignore the biblical role of government. Romans 13 says that the government is God’s instrument to protect the righteous and punish wrongdoers. Therefore the government should be “imposing Christian morality” such as punishing those who butcher innocent unborn babies. There is nothing about foreign aid [in the Bible] …

Elaine Nile, former Christian Democratic Party NSW MLC and wife of Fred Nile (Family World News, Dec. 2004, 7):

Apparently Prime Minister John Howard does not want an inquiry into the abortion issue … IN THE MEANTIME the television channels continue to air programs in which young women sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry - lead a promiscuous life and literally carry on half-naked or actually naked. These are the type of programs Channels 7, 9, 10, 2 and SBS are feeding the young people of Australia. Is there any wonder young girls seek abortion? Schoolgirls are encouraged to use contraception which, in itself, the “pill” is an abortifacient [sic]. Thank God for Tony Abbott …

Spencer Gear, Christian youth counsellor (this item illustrates one of the major rifts existing within Australia’s Religious Right - New Life, 25 Nov. 2004):

Based on your [recent] article, Margaret Court [former tennis champion and now an evangelical pastor and advocate of Religious Right causes] gave a great testimony about her Christian life and ministry, but it was served up with some spiritual poison. I am referring to her statement: “I have learned the power of words. God created the world with words … We need to teach our young ones to speak in a way that shapes their destiny.”I have seen Christians in the charismatic movement devastated by this teaching. They have sought prosperity in following this formula of visualisation and making positive affirmations, but it left them devastated - and still in poverty. Others go around confessing their healing but the sickness continues. I find this to be cruel Christianity … I was alerted to the dangers of “blab it and grab it” [also known as "name it and claim it"] theology a number of years ago by a friend who became a Christian after many years as an occult practitioner. Her question to me was: “Why are these Pentecostal Christians using the same kind of technique I used in witchcraft?” … Positive confession is a spiritual cancer in the body of Christ …

Peter Stokes, Executive Officer, Salt Shakers (email to supporters, 1 Dec. 2004):

[Regarding the temporary removal of a nativity scene from a fast food store] This is what I wrote [to the chain manager]; (please don’t simply copy but use your own words):I am disgusted that you have told your Hornsby store to remove the reason for Christmas from his store. Unless you change this policy immediately I and my friends will never eat in one of your stores. Your attempt to appease a minority is offensive to the majority of Australians … Jesus is the reason for the season and if that offends people they can go back to where they came from as soon as they like …

And another one from the same source (26 Nov. 2004):

Britain [has passed a] Civil Partnerships Act to recognise homosexual immorality. They turned a blind eye to heterosexual immorality a long time ago by allowing de facto relationships - and most of the church sat back and let them … Britain is becoming more and more controlled by government, the government just passed a hunting ban, proposals to ban smoking in most public places and wants to control advertising of junk food to children!! Some of this is already happening here - EVIL becomes good and good EVIL …

Bill Muehlenberg, National Vice-President, Australian Family Association (Time Asia Magazine, 29 Nov. 2004):

[Family values] have been under sustained attack since the late 1960s, says [Muehlenberg] … In that rebellious era, “the importance of authority, family, religion were all chucked out in favour of the idea that God is dead, there are no values, we can all create our own right and wrong”, says the Baptist theologian. “We’ve had a good 40 years of that social experiment, and by every indicator - crime, suicide, pornography, drug abuse - it looks like an experiment that’s failed.”

Jack Sonnemann, Director, Australian Federation for the Family (A.F.F. Journal, Vol. 21, Issue 1 - Nov. 2004, 2):

Contact your State Premier and Attorney General and ask them to no longer allow legal prostitution in your state or territory. It is not good for our women to become whores … None of these legislators would want their own daughters, wives, sisters or mothers working in whorehouses but they say it is OK for everyone
else’s. Doesn’t this make them two-faced hypocrites?

Cardinal George Pell “Why we need a better version of democracy”, Melbourne Age, 12 Nov. 2004:

Does democracy need a burgeoning billion-dollar pornography industry to be truly democratic? Does it need an abortion rate in the tens of millions? Does it need high levels of marriage breakdown? … Does democracy (as in Holland’s case) need legalised euthanasia, extending to children under the age of 12? Does democracy need assisted reproductive technology (such as IVF) and embryonic stem cell research? …If we think about the answers to the questions above we begin to have an inkling about what a form of democracy other than secular democracy might look like, an alternative I call “democratic personalism”. It means nothing more than democracy founded on the transcendent dignity of the human person.

Transcendence directs us to our dependence on others and our dependence on God. And dependence is how we know the reality of transcendence. There is nothing undemocratic about bringing this truth into our reflections about our political arrangements. Placing democracy on this basis does not mean theocracy.

[And in case of disagreement about the policy implications of this transcendent reality, who exactly is to act as our infallible guide?]:

The Pope in Rome, the Bishop of Rome is the successor to St Peter, and the city of Rome and the bishops of Rome have a special role in safeguarding the tradition because both Peter and Paul, the two greatest of the apostles, preached there and both were martyred there. [It should be pointed out that these are historically dubious propositions.] So it is the Popes and the Bishops who are the guarantors that what is being taught is really and truly the teaching of Christ. - Taken from a review of Pell’s Be Not Afraid: Collected
Writing of George Pell (Melbourne Age, 20 Nov. 2004)

[Not a theocracy, eh? Thanks, George.]

Peter Stokes, Executive Officer, Salt Shakers (email to supporters, 15 Nov. 2004):

[Regarding the illumination of several Australian Parliament buildings to celebrate the Hindu Festival of Lights] “You shall have NO other gods before me”, said God in Exodus 20. This is what our great nation was founded upon … Why then are governments in Australia paying homage to OTHER gods. Why were the federal parliament building, the ACT parliament and the NSW parliament used to ‘honour’ the Hindu religion and its multitude of gods? … Have you noticed the RAIN lately? Could this be because Christians woke up, repented of their apathy and put Christian values back on the political agenda at the last election? How long will the rain last if we pay homage to other gods in the way our governments did last weekend?

Elaine Nile, former Christian Democratic Party NSW MLC and wife of Fred Nile (Family World News, Nov. 2004, 7):

[Concerning a recent television program about the rival Family First Party] [The FFP's] Queensland Senate candidate, Pastor John Lewis, [said] that he “would be a voice in Canberra that upheld the family unit in society based on the Biblical standards” … John Harris, organiser for the FFP stated “We distance ourselves from those comments, this party is a broad-based party … Family First does not represent the Christian world view in any respect, it is a broad Australian church but without the Church” …I felt nauseated after viewing the 10 minute segment. Especially after a NSW Senate candidate was reported speaking in the Hills [Assemblies of God] Church at Castle Hill asking for financial aid and people to man polling booths [for the FFP]. To me it is being double-minded, [representing themselves as] Christians in the Church, but to get the vote outside the Church by saying you are NOT a Christian party … [FFP policy statements] should be biblically-based [as the CDP's are], or else the FFP is playing to the anti-Christian forces.

Helen Woodall, Editor of New Life evangelical weekly (Editorial, 7 Oct. 2004):

I was fascinated to hear recently that some ‘New Life’ readers think I am a feminist. I can only assume that they haven’t checked out what feminists actually believe. No one who reads my editorials could fail to know that I am strongly opposed to abortion which is the single most important plank in the feminist platform …
Your average feminist dresses in trousers, has short hair, is not married to a man and has one or no children. I wear dresses and skirts all year round, have had long hair ever since I was a teenager, have been married to the same man since 1976 and plan to stay married, and have four children … This is a picture of a woman diametrically opposed to the average feminist who sees children as a handicap to be avoided and men as oppressors …
Finally most feminists are also Marxists or that way inclined. I have never read ‘Das Kapital’ nor do I plan to do so …

‘Family First volunteer disciplined’, Melbourne Age, 4 Oct. 2004:

Religious party Family First has disciplined a campaign volunteer for saying lesbians should be burned to death … Family First spokesman Mark Badham said … that the volunteer had been disciplined after answering yes to a question from a Greens supporter about whether Family First supported lesbians being burned to death … Greens candidate Howard Nielsen said moments before [an egg-throwing attack on Greens supporters by a group of young men] the youths had been listening to anti-gay rantings from the Family First campaigner that ‘lesbians are witches and should be burned to death’.

Murray Adamthwaite, regular ‘Salt Shakers’ contributor (Salt Shakers Journal, Nov. 2004, 13):

… The ostensibly benign retail and tourist industries love death. Increasingly we see advertisements featuring ghoulish motifs from Harry Potter or similar sources in the form of skulls, skeletons, ghostly figures, witches, cobweb-draped instruments lying on dusty tables, and generally hideous depictions to induce people to buy artifacts in souvenir shops or even snacks in some cafe. These motifs reinforce the fact that a culture of death has descended on our world, for whom death is big business.

Jonathan Sarfati, Answers in Genesis spokesperson (Editorial, Creation magazine, Sept.-Nov. 2004, 6):

‘But Genesis is not a science textbook!’ How many times have you heard that? My favourite short answer is, ‘Thank goodness it’s not - textbooks always have mistakes and go out-of-date in a few years; the Bible has no errors and is always current!’ … [T]he Bible is the Eyewitness account of the Maker who was there, knows everything and never errs … But scientists weren’t there (Job 38:4), don’t know everything, and make mistakes.

Filed in: Their Own Mouths